Wanted is one of those “gripping action” movies that is supposed to “never let go.” Well for me, it took way too long to get going and when it did, it was all “been there, done that.”
Yes there is a “cool” killing showdown scene at the opening, but then the movie sets up the James McAvoy character for like 20 minutes. With a touch of humor, the film gives his backstory as a fatherless, working class schlub. He has a crap BFF, a terrible girlfriend, lame job and shitty apartment. He also has these mass panic attacks, which make him weak willed. Enter the hottest chick he's ever seen, a dead ringer for Angelina Jolie.
Playing with guns and keeping the eyeliner companies in business for the rest of the decade, Jolie strolls up to McAvoy in his local quickie mart, all casual like. Her opening line is “that killing yesterday, that was your dad; we worked together as bad-ass assassins.”
Goes over like a lead balloon, so she proceeds to start shooting at the lurker behind aisle 5, previously known as shadowy killer of Dad. Despite all the fisticuffs, shootings, and earthly physics-defying driving maneuvers, McAvoy is not convinced of her intentions to protect him.
But as he’s inherited his father’s legacy (and bank account), he feels newly empowered and just like that, quits his boring little life and enrolls in Morgan Freeman’s Academy of Would-be Father Avengers and Fate Enforcing Ne’er-Do-Wells. The gig is this: in between jersey tees and 300 thread-count sateen sheets, the Magic Loom of Death weaves its hard-to-decode hit list. The killers work on faith that this is the will of TPTB and the killings are necessary.
Meet the array of misfits, each with their own area of expertise: fat guy butcher, good with knives; squirrelly science medic guy, good with rodents; Joe Cool black guy, good with guns; odd looking dude, good with punching folks tied to chairs. And some, including Jolie, can curve bullets around other objects, a pretty cool ability indeed. So with all their mad skills, why the hell do they need McAvoy? Something about his heart, like his father’s, and its ability to pump fast and his body producing beaucoup adrenaline, making him faster, stronger, blah blah.
Cue the training montage. Lots of hitting, shooting, healing, train jumping. Wash, rinse, repeat. Insert gratuitous shot of Jolie’s ass and tattoos.
Finally he graduates, passing the curving-the-bullet-around-Jolie test and it’s time for his first assignment. Naturally it is not his daddy killer, but random office dude. And of course, he cannot do it. That is until Jolie spins this sad tale about the death of her father, complete with her own nasty scar, all at the hands of someone picked by the Magic Loom of Death, and the assassin who could not pull the trigger in time to stop it.
So McAvoy becomes a murderer, just like that. Goes all badass on his ex-friend and his ex-girlfriend, earning a kiss from Jolie. But all good things come to an end, as stalker dude lurks around the corner, setting up another shoot ‘em up chase, McAvoy’s assignment to get the guy, and the so WAY fucking obvious twists and turns and double crosses. I kind of have to stop there, lest I spoil the fun. Except the promo monkeys have beaten me to it, showcasing all these scenes and stills from the end of the movie, when McAvoy decides to quit in, shall we say, a less than congenial fashion.
My issues with the movie:
- Took too long for the unbelievable, mildly-entertaining action to start.
- Too much set up of him as Joe Blow Lame-o to do the quick, hairpin turn to Joe Blow Wham-o.
- Misogyny and derision directed toward his overweight, female boss that was crappy and uncalled for.
- The previously mentioned way obvious twists and turns were weak and derivative. And did I mention, transparent as hell?
Granted Morgan Freeman was probably only on set for a few weeks, earning a massive paycheck for his trouble. Fresh off of Atonement, McAvoy is not exactly “action hero stud” at the box office so he was probably eager to do something more commercial (while collecting a fat paycheck). On his way to being the “next big thing,” McAvoy seems to have the talent and the looks to make it to the top; might I suggest his trip include a stop at the dentist. Preferably one in the United States. YMMV. But with the Tomb Raider franchise and other action flicks in the IMDB, Jolie has already done her share of gun-toting and car chasing. I just have to think Wanted was a mega-huge payday for her. And with six kids at home, can’t say I blame her.
Smells like: gunpowder, burned rubber, grinding metal and testosterone. Too much for me, but to each his own.