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The Misadventures of Brigadune
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Ok, here you get to experience my life with the Dunester. These are true stories, although some artistic license was taken by yours truly to make them funny. Most were written in letter form to newsgroups.... I'm still giggling about what happened yesterday... it was sooo hilarious. Don't know if I can explain it well enough to give you guys a laugh, but I was just about to die... and, in fact, the pansy in question did die! As most of you know, Brigadune now wears a plastic muzzle when we go out, to keep her from eating everything. She's adjusted well, except that she doesn't understand that she can't catch things. So, yesterday, she saw a cricket in the backyard. Bam! She leapt at it to eat it. Ow. Hmm.. Bam! Bonk! Bang bang bang.... the cricket was now weaving woozily from multiple slams with the muzzle. Brigadune was obviously getting irritated. Whack! Leap, Whack, Leap Whack!! Somehow the cricket made it though the barrage of muzzle bonks, and escaped under the house, leaving a very peeved puppy and an owner prostrate on the grass with tears of laughter rolling down her face. Brigadune looked at me in disgust. She came over and sat down beside a pot, lying down with a disgusted grunt. Then it happened. The wind blew a pansy and it had the audacity to bonk her on the nose! WELL. She was already in a foul mood, and bonked it back with the muzzle. Pansies are springy flowers, so it rebounded and bonked her again. Back and forth, with Dune getting more and more upset. Finally, she got serious and jumped up, ferociously whacking the pansy with her muzzle, trying hard to somehow grab it and rip it up. Ping! It whacked her right back! On with the attack! Dune was now giving the whole plant mighty whacks, and becoming quite irate at the continued springiness of the darn thing. I guess I should have stopped her, but I was incapacitated by laughter, and lacked the ability to make any sound other than choking giggles. I've never seen a face-off to the death between a corgi and a pansy, particularly when the corgi is handicapped by a muzzle and hopping mad. Brigadune finally managed to mash the pansy into submission, then stomped on it with her front paws. She cast another disgusted look my way, and lay down again with a satisfied sigh. Oh well. Pansy season was just about over anyway. Ok, so it's not nice to laugh at your husband.... but.... it was soooo funny! We were watching TV last night. Or, rather, Chris and I were watching, and the pups were unconscious. Chris was stretched out on his recliner, eyes half closed, Bart snoozing across his lap.... Brigadune was passed out under the recliner... All was peaceful... Ever seen a dog who ALWAYS reacts in a violent manner to the doorbell? And what about the second dog, who can leap five feet straight up in the air from a sitting position in response to the first dog.... (remember, Bart's a corgi/ jack russell cross). Need I say more? Someone on TV rang the doorbell. And then all hell broke loose! "BaaaaaroooooooOOOOOOOOOO!" bellowed Brigadune, leaping straight up and beaning her head on the recliner. "Wahhoooooooorrrrrrr!!" screamed Bart in response, going from sleeping position to a position in the air about 3 feet above my husband's lap in 0.02 seconds... "AAAAAAhhhhhhhhHhhhhhHHHH" yodelled MDH, flinging himself upwards, trapping the frantic Dune under the recliner... "YARGGGGG!" he yelled, as Bart landed on his ... er... well, a rather uncomfortable place, especially since Bart then used that place as a springboard from which to launch himself towards the door... "Yawp!" yelped a smothered Dunie from under the recliner... and finally "YOwwwww!" from MDH as he twisted to save Dune, knocking the recliner over backwards in an attempt to escape the situation.... You should have seen the look he gave me from his upsidedown position... (Needless to say, I was incapacitated by a serious case of belly laughter..) (I'm relatively safe from repercussions - that's the great thing about being pregnant!) Just had to share 2 silly little stories. Brigadune, as you all probably know, now wears a muzzle when she goes out. (She is a mean, lean eating machine, for those who do not know her, and has had 2 intestinal surgeries in the last 6 months to remove 1. a peach pit and 2. a rock). She has taken to it well (the muzzle, not the surgery), and seems to ignore it now. Anyway, yesterday I was fencing off a small garden, and Dune and Bart were snuffling around the yard. After I finished, I turned and looked for them.... there's Bart, asleep in the sun.... but where is Dune? Aha! What is that rustling in the strawberry patch? (I have MONSTER strawberries this year - the plants are an amazing 1 1/2 feet high! Brigadune has raided it on the few occasions when she was muzzleless). I walked over and out strolled a corgi, looking calm and collected, as if strawberries were the last think on her mind. She sedately sat down, looking innocently at me, seeming to say "hi mom, what's up? just thought i'd stroll through the forest.... wouldn't disturb anee thing of kourse, just looking..." Only one thing messed up the oh so innocent corgi look. There was a giant mashed up strawberry stuck to the front of the muzzle!!! Dune has discovered that by smashing the berries, small amounts enter the muzzle! Oh the carnage..... Second small blurb... I had to call the vet's yesterday to ask whether or not pre-natal vitamins would hurt a corgi (I tripped with an open bottle... 200+ pills all over the floor...) I think she only got 5, and Bart got 3.... Apparently they are harmless, other than the heartstopping fear and tripping as you frantically try to pick up pills and go in their mouths up to the elbows to retrieve pills.... Our vet's office is very familiar with our girl, and I could here howls of laughter over the phone. Oh well. Bet it cheered up their day! Ok, so I have to speak up on apricots, and tell you of Brigadune's first apricot experience. It happened a few years ago.... I woke up one morning, excited about going on vacation, but sad to leave my pup behind. It was her first time being left at my parent's, so I had decided to spend the first night there with her. So off we went! And that night, we slept in my old bedroom..... About one am, I woke up to the standard "uk uk uk...." that precedes an upheaval. Sigh. Guess I should get up. I turn on the light.... what in the world? A small pile of about 10 unchewed apricots is sitting in the middle of the floor. Where'd she get those? Oh well. I picked them up, cleaned the floor, and re-entered dreamworld. Only to be awakened an hour later by "uk uk uk...... blaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!" Geez Loiz! 15 more apricots! Back to sleep, interrupted periodically by more apricots, over 50 in all throughout the night.... I took her out in the morning, and she popped out neatly rolled apricots as she squatted. Holy cow! 5 more..... I had to catch a flight the next morning, and left teary eyed over my poor sick pup. My stepfather called to say that she'd thrown up once more, but seemed fine. He'd picked her up when I left, saying "now let's get along and not get sick, right?". She promptly turned her head and the final 20-some apricots exited.... Thought I'd go crazy trying to figure out where she got ahold of some 100 or so apricots.... Three weeks later my brother called "Did you take my apricots?" he asked " I had a value pack in your old bedroom in the closet in a backpack. " AHA!!!!! Piglet (note, this was written in corgi language, called corgese. Don't ask...) hi der! dis is brigadune. i wanted to tell u guys about whut i did yesterday wid my bruder bart. momee wuz so prowd! oops! she says dat we were reelee bad dogs, but she's prowd of us so she gave us treets insted of yellin' at us. Heer's de storee: piglet is a horrible jack russel terrier 2 houses away. his hoomans let him out at 5:30 eberee mornin' an he comes into our yard an barks an barks an it drives us crazee an den mommee wakes up an chases him away. veree irritatin'. one day she lost it an chased him down de road at 6am in her bathrobe an' bear feet! aneeway, yestiday, she didn't no it butt piglet wuz sittin' by de steps when she let us out. i saw him! so i let out a big rawwwer and leeped out an jumped on him! i've been waitin' fur a hole yeer to do dat! i hate dat dog cause he barks at evereeone all day long an runs around in my yard. aneeway, i didn't bite him, but i kicked him 'tween my front legs like a sokker ball, an when he tried to git up, i bounsed him on de hed wid my nose. i dribbled him all de way back to his yard, and den marked all ober his yard. den bart kame racin' around de korner (he jumped away frum mom), an bart pummelled him all de way to de backyard an onto his deck. when mom kame runnin' round de korner (in bear feet an a bathrobe), she found me markin' de front yard and bart on de back deck of de naybor's house, wid all of his fur standin' up. de naybor wuz inside de door holdin' piglet. mom didn't say aneething, cause de naybor knows dat his dog runs around wid no leesh, she just picked up bart and called me an' we all went home an me an bart got treets an a extra big breakfast! yum! dat wuz de best mornin' i'be had in a long time! aneeway, i'm reel prowd of myself, so i thought i'd tell ebereeone whut i did. wub, brigadune Retrieving Corgi? .Brigadune does not retrieve. If you dropped it and it's not food, why should she want it? But she does get jealous. ... My mom was throwing sticks in the water for her golden to retrieve, and apparently Dune got jealous of the attention Misty was receiving for her work. So, in went Dune. She had her eyes fixed on something, and got it. She swam back... dragging something, and proudly deposited it at mom's feet. Apparently someone had had a ... er... love tryst down by the pond, and left some... used paraphanalia behind.... yuck! Brigadune was just so proud of herself.... We have 2 boating babies. How do you make a corgi comfortable on a boat? One word - food!!!! Brigadune was terrified of the big sail on our boat - shook and cried.... we never thought she'd be a boat dog. Then, as we were racing across the lake at top speed, we broke out the sandwiches. Now we were on a catamaran. At top speed. For those non-boating people, that means we were up on one pontoon at a steep slant. With a terrified corgi gripping the trampoline with all claws and white eyes rolling back into her head. And then we get out the sandwiches. Up go the ears. And, at a 45 degree slant, Brigadune proudly managed to achieve the begging position, hanging onto the ropes with her back claws, swaying back and forth. I swear, that dog will do ANYTHING for food.
Very carefully walk inside with sample, pour into a container with a lid, take sample to vet's.
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